Graduation Day

On August 10, my 13 peers and I graduated from the yearlong clinical pastoral education program at the Truly Wonderful Medical Center. The day started with Anita treating the five of us in her group to breakfast at Park Chow. We asked our server to take a photo of us and she pointed out that the three people on one side of the table were all wearing white shirts and the three on the other side were all wearing light blue shirts.

Back at work, I shined my shoes and checked my email and hung out in the student office until it was time to do an exit interview with members of the professional advisory group, an opportunity to give feedback about the program anonymously; none of our supervisors were present.

After that, I went outside to wait for my guests. I had not asked most people to RSVP, thinking it would be nice to be surprised, with the exception of Charlie, whom I pestered relentlessly about it. I really, really wanted him there, because he played a large part in my journey toward CPE. When Carlos was dying, he picked me up every single night at the hospital at the end of visiting hours so I could stay as late as possible and not have to then wait for the bus in that not-very-good neighborhood. The night Carlos died, he got out of bed at 1 in the morning to come and drive me home.

Consequently, I decided to do the two days of volunteer work my ex-employer paid us for at his soup kitchen. I fell in love with it the very first day and became a regular. Wanting to bring everything I could to the soup kitchen’s guests, I did the yearlong chaplaincy program at the Sati Center for Buddhist Studies. There I became totally inspired and vowed that if my employer laid me off, I was going to become a hospital chaplain.

They kept their part of the bargain, and I am keeping mine.

So it was crucial that Charlie be at my graduation, and he was, elegantly attired in a black sweatshirt—not the shredded, stained one of indeterminate color that he normally favors, though it would have been perfectly fine if he’d worn that one.

Along with him, seven other friends came, including two who had very good reasons—serious illness and very recent bereavement—not to. I felt extremely loved and supported. Ann came all the way from Sacramento with her friend Jill, and Tom came. He took the ferry over to Larkspur to help Ann and Jill with the final leg of the trip into the city, which is really going above and beyond. I have the best friends.

Sarah, the manager of the spiritual care department, spoke at the beginning of the ceremony, explaining what we went through this past year, and what we achieved. She estimates that we, collectively, had 68,840 interactions with patients, their family members and staff.

One of our supervisors had made a wonderful slide show covering the whole year: students having fun at a petting zoo, students cracking up while rowing a boat, students wearing enormous joke sunglasses, a student collapsed from exhaustion on the floor of the office. It was really fun to see all of these photos, and to see how much joy there was along with the immense amount of physical and emotional work. This slide show was right up to the minute, too: there we were at Park Chow that very morning, three of us in white and three in pale blue.

Then there were musical presentations by fellow students, and one of our supervisors recited a poem, and then each supervisor handed out certificates to her own students. I received mine from Anita, who said she wanted to recognize my wit and humor, my professionalism, and my fairness, even when there is a cost to myself.

Then the director of the spiritual care department came to the front to recognize some of our supervisors. This year, three special awards for students were inaugurated and presented by our director, and I got one of them, the Award for Integration: “recognizing and affirming your persistence and creativity in nurturing and developing both your head and your heart as effective and reliable instruments of spiritual caregiving and thereby distinguishing yourself in fulfillment of the ACPE Outcomes.”

After our very esteemed leader gave out these special awards, he had to leave. As he made his way up the stairs, we stood in his honor. Then we graduates were offered a Ritual of Handwashing. I was in tears as Sarah dried my hands, emotions overflowing. There was a non-denominational prayer at the end, and then we had a giant feast.

It was an absolutely perfect day.

I did it. I did it.