P.’s Best Remarks Ever
I got two calls from P. He very much wanted me to take him to an AA meeting that evening, and he said these things:
"It's not very nice, you know. I'm your old grandmother. Your old grandmother likes to get her orgasm occasionally, too."
"It's much harder to be a man because we have PMS nine times a week."
"I'm a man. I'm not the most stunning man, but you're just letting me sit here like a slab of meat."
"You threw out all that candy and didn't even let me have any, due to some stupid thing like additives."
"I don't even look like I'm 62. I'm look like I'm a very beat-up 39."
"Here you have this beautiful older man with liver spots on his hands, and you won't even do anything nice for him."
"You won't even give me any halvah. You gave it to your coworkers. Here's a poor old woman [him] in a nursing home ... "
"If you were a good girl, you'd take me to the meeting. You're very mean. You think I'm a hooker, don't you?"