Snippet About P. #7

While I was out last night, P. left a message saying he would like to talk to me, but by the time I got home, it was 10:30, so I didn’t call him back. This morning at 8:15 he called me again.

The other day, when my bicycle seat was stolen, P. said, "Repeat after me: I am grateful for the abundance in my life that means I could have bought another entire bicycle if I had to—and paid cash."

I didn’t feel he was minimizing my loss, which was indeed minimal to begin with, and I appreciated his reminding me of something that is true and that is a cause for gratitude: Losing the entire bike would be upsetting, but not a crisis, and losing just the seat was really nothing.

But it turned out he was worried about possibly having given offense, by telling me what to do. I reassured him as best I could and we got off the phone. Before we hung up, he thanked me for not turning my back on him, which was heartrending. I reassured him.

In the afternoon, I was doing my weekly cooking chores when P.’s sister called to tell me that his newest doctor has insisted on changing his medication, and that now P. is beset with anxiety, apologizing to her for things that don’t warrant an apology, and that maybe we should stay at P.’s house tomorrow instead of attempting a movie, though she said it was up to me. That explained P.’s intense concern about offering the little gratitude reflection.

Soon thereafter, P. called me and announced that he felt very anxious and fearful. He was unusually full of questions: What had I cooked? Was I a full vegetarian or did I sometimes eat meat? Is it true that I never watch TV? How long have I worked where I work? Do I have a 401(k) from work and a Roth IRA? Do I also have some cash? Does he look like he’s 70?

He had another question: Had I heard from my ex-lover today? I said that Tom and I had actually had a fight last night, and therefore we had not spoken to each other today. P. asked, "Will you punish each other for a long time?" I realized he was worried that I’d get mad at him and punish him for a long time, maybe stop being his friend, and so I said, "No, no. We won’t do that at all. We’re still friends. It wasn’t a bad fight."

Then P. said, "I shouldn’t have asked that. Now you’re going to be angry." I said, "It was just a little fight. I wasn’t angry for very long, and I’m not angry now. It’s not making me angry to talk about it. It’s fine that you asked that."

On the contrary, discussing it was making me see how stupid it was to think Tom and I would stop being friends over one snappish exchange. I told P. that Tom and I would talk to each other very soon, and then I made it true by calling Tom right after P. and I hung up, and leaving a message that said, "We’re still friends even though you were mean to me last night."

Tom called back very soon and said, "We’re still friends? Too bad, because I had almost gotten us on Jerry Springer."