Decision. Finally!

I have decided to buy, and live in, the house formerly occupied by my parents in Ypsilanti, Michigan.

In the end, despite the giant hassle of moving and doing all the things the house needs for Marvin to live there and my anxiety about moving the cats, and despite the things I will miss so much about San Francisco, particularly the sun and being able to have the windows open nearly 365 days a year, I can’t pass up the opportunity to own a house (despite having actively wished until about six months ago never to own a house): to have my own place, my own car (for the first time since 1985 or 1986), and my own expanse of weeds.

My conversation with our student a week ago was so helpful in shifting my mindset about leaving my job, and then last night, when I was having my weekly conversation with Lisa M., she asked about the house—how many bedrooms it has and so forth. At some point, she said that buying it “sounds like a no brainer.” I think maybe that was the final little bit of encouragement or permission I needed. I also realize that, amid all the back and forth and pros and cons and what if this and what if that, the greater clinging has been in regard to my job and San Francisco (of course, possibly because those are both highly desirable things), and therefore (I guess) the invitation is to let go of those things and step into the unknown. To have an adventure!

I emailed my other sister to confirm that she was still amenable to selling me her share of the house. We had discussed this in the past, but with more details in hand, I wanted to make sure it still sounded fine to her. I received a thumbs-up almost immediately.

Next I emailed our realtor to tell her I have decided to buy the house and to ask her to start the various procedures for the transfer of ownership, and after that, I emailed our attorney to let him know.

Then I attempted to go to sleep but kept thinking of a few little things I could just take care of right now; I kept leaping out of bed and firing up the computer, and finally resigned myself to it being a night of very little sleep.

I have been receiving congratulations and expressions of pleasure via text as I let people know, which makes me feel that I am on the right track. Today has been full of texts and emails and phone calls with our realtor, my sisters, the attorney, the cat transport people, and tradespeople of all sorts, now that I do have to do all the modifications to the house necessary for Marvin to become a Michigander. I have a meeting with the cat transport people tomorrow.

Our real estate transaction is unorthodox in that Bugwalk the trustee of her parents’ trust is going to sign a document confirming that she has agreed to sell a house to Bugwalk the home buyer: I am going to both sell and buy the house. I had been thinking about how to get my sisters their cash, but it turns out that it normally comes from the title company, so there are some details to work out. 

Accordingly, the closing is tentatively scheduled for a few weeks from now.

Fully five of the things I have to do for Marvin involve doors: Installing two where there currently is empty space, fixing two that don't latch properly, and installing an entire screen porch with a door in it outside the front door. 

I am sure I will have moments of regret and panic, but finally it feels like this thing is underway. I can do this. Just this moment, just this detail, just this phone call.