Yes, I DID Cut It Myself—Why?

Speaking of flak from motorists, this week I got some. I was on Fifth St. heading from Mission to Market. Near Mission, a guy in a pickup truck passed me in the other lane and yelled at me to get out of the way, even though he wasn’t behind me.

At Market, I stopped next to him at the light. As we both drove off, he shrieked, “Does ‘bike lane’ mean anything to you?” “Well,” I thought to myself, “As a matter of fact, it does, but there isn’t one on this street. What we DO have on this street, however, is a sign saying that cyclists are entitled to use the whole lane.”

In fact, I was probably right under that sign when he offered his first observation.

Using the whole lane, by the way, is permitted anywhere the road isn’t wide enough for motorists and cyclists to share, not just where there happens to be a sign, but it’s always a nice feeling to see an actual sign, per California Vehicle Code 21202, a number engraved on the brain of perhaps every California cyclist. Probably if you walked up to a California cyclist on his or her deathbed and said, “CVC,” he or she would answer with a last feeble whisper, “21202.”

I read a very helpful thing in an Al-Anon book this week. To paraphrase greatly, it said something like, “We don’t have to go around telling other people what to do or not do. Who knows what that person’s higher power has planned for that person?” (Note that this was after I plugged my ears on the bus.)

I’ve encountered that general idea many, many times, but for some reason, that way of putting it was helpful to me, though of course I also found a way quite soon to misuse it, when I saw a cyclist riding on the sidewalk and thought, with a slight but distinct feeling of anticipation, “There’s no need for me to correct that cyclist. Why, maybe his higher power has arranged for a safe to fall on him from an office building window. That’ll learn him not to ride on the sidewalk!”

(Again, I don't believe in a higher power of the conscious variety, but I find it useful to use the idea in some contexts. “Maybe that guy’s higher power is going to make a UPS truck back into him” sounds more realistic to me than “Maybe the universe is going to … ”)

So, I’m not quite sure that’s the feeling for my fellow man the anonymous author of the Al-Anon book wished me to have, but I’m sure there will be some positive fruits, as well.

Actually, here's one: When the guy in the pickup truck was shouting, I was able to think, “Oh, well, whatever. I don’t need to yell back. Perhaps his higher power has some lesson arranged for him that will come in time as a result of that behavior.”

I also thought that, given all the times I’ve offered unsolicited advice, my karmic debt probably requires me to receive three or four thousand unwanted pieces of advice with serenity, even if they’re yelled in a rude fashion. It’s not as if I didn’t employ that exact method myself more than once.

I’ve been letting my hair grow for the past year or so, and it had gotten long enough that I could put it in a ponytail, though it also tended to form a frizzy corona over my forehead, because it IS frizzy and allergies prevent me from using most products that could clamp it into place.

I went to see Stefano at MNKYTHMP a couple of weeks ago for a trim, though I was tempted even then to have it all cut off. After the trim, Stefano applied a very hot blow-dryer and, without a molecule of product, rendered it nearly straight. It looked very glamorous.

Stefano said I could probably get it to be approximately that way all the time, or something near to it, by having it relaxed or straightened or using this or that product. For a few days, I considered it, but the fact is, I don’t like the feeling of hair touching my neck or face, and it turns out that straight hair touches your face even more than frizzy hair does. It’s almost like it was REACHING for my face.

Frizzy hair or less frizzy, it would always have to be kept in a ponytail, and I know the chemicals involved in defrizzing would have caused problems, no matter what anyone says, so after I realized straight hair is no better to have a lot of than frizzy hair is, I used scissors to produce a cut that was rather spectacular in its way, quite tall on top, which I called “The Grover. I forgot to take a picture.

Then I went to see someone who actually knows how to cut hair to have it fixed, namely, Cara at her shop called biNk!, which is at 10 Guerrero. She’s very nice and very relaxed and mellow, and she did a nice job, meaning that it's SHORT. (As for the crisp wave, that's courtesy of my higher power.)

I could have gone to see Stefano, but his only appointment was quite early, and also I was scared to face him after desecrating his work of art, even though it’s my hair. As it was, word got back to him, and I got an email from him in which he asked evenly, “Did you cut your hair after I cut it?”

After that thing that happened to poor Natasha Richardson—how sad, and how horrible for her family—I decided to upgrade my own head protection. All she did was bump her head, and now she’s gone, and a bumped head can easily happen to someone balancing on two wheels.

I always wear a helmet when I ride my bike, but I’ve had a baseball cap underneath my current visor-less helmet to help keep rain off my glasses. This is not good, because it reduces the effectiveness of the helmet—it can make the helmet slide out of position just when it’s needed most—so I went to Freewheel yesterday and bought a new helmet with an attached visor.

For months, I've had another helmet with a visor in my closet to which I'd intended to attach a second visor to form an extra-long awning for rainy days. I'm now inspired to complete that project right away.

While I was at Freewheel, I had my brake pads replaced, which cost me $40. I know Dan would have charged me a lot less, but that’s another era that’s over. I can’t complain. I got a huge amount of underpriced labor when Dan was there.

Here’s one thing that’s still the same, at least: Nearly going over the handlebars the first time I apply the brakes after a brake adjustment. That always happens.