Pre-Apocalyptic Garlic Toast and a Pleasing Dab of Doo

Today is Thelonious’s 19^th birthday, and the best one of all, since I was afraid she was going to die right before it. With much pleasure did I sing the birthday song this morning and call her Uncle Tom to notify him of her impressive longevity.

After wringing out a poop-infused sponge several times too many, I have developed a new diarrhea cleanup protocol which uses Wet Ones, previously disdained as not environmentally friendly, for cleaning the floor, walls and edge of the litter box, once I’ve gone as far as I can go with wads of toilet paper. They’re very handy and more hygienic.

But wait! Isn’t there a nearly identical product at Whole Foods for which I could pay three times as much? Well, there is. Avalon Organics Flushable Biodegradable Baby Wipes (Certified Organic Blend of Chamomile, Aloe & Calendula) is the item you’ll want. These are supposedly fragrance free, which could be a plus, as the smell of Wet Ones plus trace amounts of cat poop is faintly nauseating.

Feeling a bit concerned about my landlords’ plumbing, I also got some gallon-size ziplock bags in which to put clumps of the aforementioned substance, along with the accompanying pile of cat litter. Certainly a firm cat turd, should I ever be lucky enough to see one again, is not a problem to flush down the toilet, all the more so because it isn’t followed by 500 yards of toilet paper, like the turds of some.

Up until recently, it was my feeling that anything with a dab of cat poop on it needed laundering. How very innocent I was. After having to do seven loads of laundry two weeks in a row, my requirements have tightened. Now I think, oh, well, how can it hurt me? It’s on top of the blanket, whereas I’ll be under the blanket. What’s a dainty dab of doo among friends?

This week I did wash one of the blankets that is draped over the comfy chair, putting it in with the diarrhea-splotched bath mat, and it came out of the dryer smelling extremely strange. I assumed it had become contaminated, but the bath mat itself smelled fresh and clean, so I think I must have burned the blanket in the dryer. The smell of cooked polyester is actually rather more unpleasant than the smell of Wet Ones plus cat poop.

I ran Thelonious’s current state of being by Dr. Fong and he suggested that we switch to different herbs (the new formula has the lovely name of Anemone Combo) and he said I should go back to giving her the slippery elm powder, which is supposed to help her intestines.

I stopped because I swore off anything to do with syringes. Syringe feeding is out, certainly, but maybe eschewing syringe medication was going too far. However, I noticed, thumbing through the Eating Log, that her appetite perked up during the week she was off the slippery elm, so if she starts eating less again, I’ll cease administering it.

Last night, I gave her a dose, mixed with water and via syringe. She doesn’t mind it too much, but the Anemone Combo was much worse-tasting (judging from the smell) and it made her foam at the mouth a bit and was obviously very unpleasant.

It occurred to me that maybe I could just put it in a gelatin capsule and give it to her as with any other pill. The vet’s office confirmed that today, which was very welcome news, because I can give her the slippery elm the same way and we can say goodbye to the syringe again.

It seems you can also give liquid medicines in gel caps if you do it quickly, before the gelatin melts.

I am really happy about this because it will take much less time, be a lot less messy, and ensure that she’s actually getting the whole dose and not losing some due to it being spit out, dribbled down her face or escaping as foam.

Rainbow sells empty gelatin capsules in several sizes, so I’ll go by there this evening. At the hardware store, I got two itsy-bitsy plastic funnels, which is perfect: one for each medication, thus no need to rinse between uses. I could also have made funnels out of little pieces of paper.

I must as well go to Safeway for more Fancy Feast and to a pet store for a little cat brush with soft bristles, as I have recently become racked with guilt over never having bought her one. I guess I never bought her one because she never minded being combed and I just used the comb to remove superfluous fur, but now she is very bony and might enjoy being brushed even if it doesn’t actually achieve anything.

I tried making vegan garlic bread with Asti Meyer Lemon olive oil, which I bought recently at Whole Foods, and which is a gorgeous color, and it was wonderful. Until the apocalypse, that’s the only way I’m making garlic bread.